Category Archives: Spiritual Growth

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The ZERO Club: open, honest, transparency

I continue to ‘preach’ the importance of transparency/honesty in our relationships to our wives.  This is NOT easy.  when I finally shared my last ‘skeleton in my closet’ with my wife, it was a very long stressful discussion, but it transformed our marriage.  Over the years, very few men (and women) have taken our advise to open up the closets of our past to our spouse (and to your closet friends) (note: it is not necessary and can be harmful and too painful to share all specific details of the ‘skeletons’ in the closets of our past-keep it general.)

Yesterday I got an email from a friend who shared that he opened his final ‘skeleton’ with his wife and it was incredible for him and his relationship with his wife.

It is my hope that more and more of us can experience the freedom, forgiveness, and intimacy that open, honest, transparency provides.  

Let me know if you need any guidance/help in becoming a member of the “ZERO club”

Here is what he shared with me:

“The ZERO club…

zero closets…
zero secrets…
zero instances of lost self-control…
zero self gratification…
zero prolonged non-appropriate fantasies…
side effects:
Honor for spouse/partner
diminish/remove impure motivations
remove impure thoughts
remove guilt, shame
heighten intimacy with spouse
increased trust/openness with spouse
more effective witness for Christ
heightened spiritual awareness
victory over Satan/realization that God is in control
improved relationships/outlook towards opposite sex
Here’s to obedience!  GLORY!”
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“You should take your kids to see the tolerance museum.”

We were told a party the other night that we should take our kids to the tolerance museum.  I was dying to ask: What is tolerance? But I got distracted and let the opportunity slip away.

The best and briefest summary of the tolerance issue that I have found is written by Koukl:

When Tolerance Is Intolerant

 Gregory Koukl

      There’s one word that can stop you in your track.  That word is “tolerance.”

      Let’s take a look at the confusing and mistaken ways tolerance is used in our culture today. 

      Using the modern definition of tolerance, you will see that no one is tolerant, or ever can be.  It’s what my friend Frank Beckwith calls the “passive aggressive tolerance trick.”  Let’s start with a real life example. 

      I had the privilege of speaking to seniors at a Christian high school in Des Moines.  I wanted to alert them to this “tolerance trick,” but I also wanted to learn how much they had already been taken in by it.  I began by writing two sentences on the board

“All views have equal merit and none should be considered better than another.”

“Jesus is the Messiah and Judaism is wrong for rejecting that.”

      They all nodded in agreement as I wrote the first sentence.  As soon as I finished writing the second, though, hands flew up. “You can’t say that,” a coed challenged, clearly annoyed.  “That’s disrespectful. How would you like it if someone said you were wrong?” 

      “In fact, that happens to me all the time,” I pointed out, “including right now with you.  But why should it bother me that someone thinks I’m wrong?”

      “It’s intolerant,” she said, noting that the second statement violated the first statement.  What she didn’t see was that the first statement also violated itself.

      I pointed to the first statement and asked, “Is this a view, the idea that all views have equal merit and none should be considered better than another?”  They agreed. 

      Then I pointed to the second statement—the “intolerant” one—and asked the same question:  “Is this a view?”  They studied the sentence for a moment.  Slowly my point began to dawn on them.  They’d been taken in by the tolerance trick.

      If all views have equal merit, then the view that Christians have a better view on Jesus than Jews is just as true as the idea that Jews have a better view on Jesus than Christians.  But this is hopelessly contradictory.  If the first statement is what tolerance amounts to, then no one can be tolerant because “tolerance” turns out to be gibberish.

      “Would you like to know how to get out of this dilemma?” I asked.  They nodded.  “Return to the classic view of tolerance and reject this modern distortion.”  Then I wrote these two principles on the board:

“Be egalitarian regarding persons.”

“Be elitist regarding ideas.”[1]

      The first principle is true tolerance, what might be called “civility.” It can loosely be equated with the word “respect.”  Tolerance applies to how we treat people we disagree with, not how we treat ideas we think false.  Tolerance requires that every person is treated courteously, no matter what her view, not that all views have equal worth, merit, or truth. 

     Don’t let this new notion of tolerance intimidate you.  Treat all people with respect, but be willing to show them where their ideas have gone wrong.  The modern notion of tolerance actually turns this value on its head.  It’s one of the first responses deployed when you take exception with what someone has said.  “You’re intolerant.”

      To say I’m intolerant because I disagree with someone’s ideas is confused.  The view that one person’s ideas are no better or truer than another’s is simply absurd and contradictory. To argue that some views are false, immoral, or just plain silly does not violate any meaningful definition or standard of tolerance.

      The irony is that according to the classical notion of tolerance, you can’t tolerate someone unlessyou disagree with him.  We don’t “tolerate” people who share our views.  They’re on our side.  There’s nothing to “put up” with.  Tolerance is reserved for those who we think are wrong, yet we still choose to treat them decently and with respect.

      This essential element of classical tolerance—elitism regarding ideas—has been completely lost in the modern distortion of the concept.  Nowadays if you think someone is wrong, you’re called intolerant no matter how you treat them.

      Whenever you’re charged with intolerance, always ask for a definition, then point out the contradiction built in to this new view.

      Most of what passes for tolerance today is intellectual cowardice, a fear of intelligent engagement.  Those who brandish  the word “intolerant” are unwilling to be challenged by other views, to grapple with contrary opinions, or even to consider them.  It’s easier to hurl an insult—“you intolerant bigot”—than to confront the idea and either refute it or be changed by it.  In the modern era, “tolerance” has become intolerance.

      As ambassadors for Christ, however, we choose the more courageous path.  In Paul’s words, “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God”  (2 Corinthians 10:5).  In a gracious and artful way, we accurately speak the truth, and then trust God to transform minds.

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What about those grey areas?

Many believe that the Bible teaches us that all moral choices are black and white when in reality, the Bible teaches the reality that life is hard, correct moral choices are challenging, and there are plenty of grey areas.

Mike Erre teaches from a passage of 1 Corinthians that helps us to be able to navigate through those moral grey area choices that we ponder every day.

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Yo Adrian: A Pastor from Sri Lanka shares his heart

Pastor Adrian from Sri Lanka came to speak to our church.  He plants churches, rescues widows and orphans (Sri Lanka is predominantly Buddhist and Buddhists believe that widows are not to be helped because their bad karma caused them to be a widow etc.–news to me! wow!), and is someone who is passionately changing the world for Christ.  A couple from our church is in Sri Lanka for a year helping with his ministry.  Here is a letter written by him that speaks of his brokenness and his passion. Enjoy!

This is the sixth week I have been in pain. I know Ophelia must have kept all of you informed, but I thought I must also give you my version.

I was in Korea for the Lausanne leadership summit – it was challenging and meaningful, but the highlight was for me to attend Dr. Paul Yonggi- Cho’s church. This was a highlight for me for several reasons:

  1. Over 750,000 members in the church. I was very impressed by the numbers,
  2. Impressed that the Lord took a very ordinary person to do an extraordinary work.
  3. I was also touched by the fervor and passion of the people. The service was simple (Good music, well organized) but the passion with which they worshiped and ministered to those around was unbelievable.
  4. They read the Apostles creed and the Lords prayer together – I did not expect this. I am amazed that there are so many people in our churches who do not know the apostles creed and the Lord’s Prayer. We must teach this to our people, specially in a context like Sri Lanka where we dealing with first generation Christians

I was seated and absorbing all of this, when suddenly it seemed to me that the Lord was speaking to me.

I was a good evangelist in Youth for Christ, but now I have settled down to be the Leader of a Church planting movement, committed to its growth. I have given myself to establish programs that major on social justice and mercy, looking for ways of developing relevant Theology for Asia. Caring for the orphans and widows. Majoring in developing relevant models of ministry for the Church in Asia. In the midlist of all of such good and worthy projects, I have moved away from my primary call of reaching out to those outside the Kingdom of God.

This conviction came upon me in a real sense. The wonder of the church no more attracted my attention, I was confessing and rededicating me life to align with the purposes of God.

The following Sunday I shared this with the Kithu Sevana community, they responded in an amazing way. We prayed together and that evening I developed a pain in my shoulders. I am not a good patient at the best of times – but the pain was so sharp, I was walking around in unbearable pain for three weeks, the Doctors were treating me but I found no relief. The sad part was my trusted Doctor and friend Kumar Fernando was out, caring for people in the North. When he subsequently returned, I visited him and he prescribed some pain killers and sleeping drugs and muscle relievers. This helped me to finally sleep and I continued with the Physiotherapy and the shoulder pain has lessened greatly.

I learned the following lessons:

  1. Care for those who are sick – This has never been my strength. I am committed to a big picture, I am committed to seeing it happen, and many times I have willfully dodged my responsibility of caring and sometimes because I was so preoccupied with the big picture, I never saw the physically hurting people. Compassion is a prerequisite for ministry, without compassion, we will use people rather than serve them.
  2. Reaching out to those outside the Kingdom of God is a spiritual battle. This needs preparation, a deep walk with the Lord and much fasting and prayer and the unity of the body. Did I rush to do the right thing without much preparation?

This might sound childish, but I wonder if this could this be a spiritual attack to derail my commitment to reaching out to my people in more intentional manner.

I will let you judge the situation.

Sine last evening I am again in pain and unable to sleep. I was thrilled that the painful episode with my shoulder was coming to an end, only to realize that I have developed a sinus infection that has given rise to an asthmatic cough. (This is something that I battle all the time. I go on coughing throughout the entire day, and the worst is in the night when I can’t fall asleep due to the coughing.) At some point I cough so much in the nights and go into spasms.

At the moment I am exhausted and in deep confusion. My theology says God heals, but at the moment I have been in pain for seven weeks. (Many people in the Church have experience divine healing when I prayed) Does God heal only a few? How about the people who never experienced divine healing. Should we assure healing for all or should we simply pray for all, believing that God can heal but allowing this to be an act of God?

What is our responsibility for those who have never experienced healing – condemn them as people of no faith or love them as those who are suffering and we do not know the reason. Some of the evangelists that I have met and even well meaning Pastors and friends, based on erroneous theology add more pain and guilt on the poor and suffering. Their examples says see how God has blessed me, but the same God has withheld blessing from you. (They may not say this so directly but that’s what they communicate)

It is interesting for me to note that Jesus never asked people to give and testimony of how people got healed through his healing ministry to validate his preaching and healing ministry or even to give Glory to God, but on the contrary he asked them not share with any one, but in one occasion he asked the leper “to go and show your self to the priest”

Mark 1:43-44

43 Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning: 44 “See that you don’t tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them. (From New International Version)

TRIUMPH-LIST ATTITUDE IN PREACHING

Those who understand their role to serve the people will give up this triumph-list attitude in preaching but will communicate the Gospel in a manner to encourage and not to condemn. When people come to church, they come condemned and battling many issues and unresolved problems, they know they have failed God even in worse ways than we can even imagine.  The Church must offer hope, encouragement to the week and hurting so that they can go back to their world and make a difference for Jesus Christ.

THE CHURCH MUST PREACH GRACE BOLDLY, OFFER GRACE LAVISHLY AND PREPEARE A GRACIOUES COMMUNITY THAT SERVES A GRACELESS COMMUNITY.

I am convinced that triumph- listic preaching continues to do more harm to our people than good. We may be communicating to our people we are far superior and above them. They may admire us for such spirituality, but can never relate to us. Brokenness on the other hand, permits me to be real and celebrate the blessed assurance of JUSTIFICATION BY HIS GRACE and share my feeble attempt to reach SANTIFICATION through his sustaining Grace. This brings hope to those who are battling sin and doubt and make us shepherds they can relate to.

I wonder whether any of this make any sense to you, if so I am glad-If not I need help


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True Christianity

A good friend of mine just became a Christian! It is so exciting to see someone make the decision to cross the threshold of eternity.

He has been asking A LOT of questions.  What does it mean to be a follower of Christ? Shouldn’t we sell all our possessions and follow Him as the disciples did?

Mike Erre’s sermon attached to this post is titled: The End of Your Rope.  A title from a quote from Dallas Willard who points out that we don’t truly see Him and grow deeper in knowing Him until we are at the end of our ropes.  Speaking from one who has been at the end of the rope, I agree completely.

Please share your thoughts.  I found this sermon to encapsulate the true meaning of being a Christ follower.

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Age old wisdom from Junior Guards

At the end of summer Junior Guards Banquet, the Junior Guard Instructors picked a boy and girl that they felt exemplified being a Junior Guard.  EVERY single one of the instructors said 1 of 3 things about each of these boys and girls.  These boys and girls showed 1 of 3 things that made them stand out among their peers:

  1. They were ENTHUSIASTIC.
  2. They were ALWAYS SMILING.
  3. They ALWAYS said THANK YOU.

Too simple? No. That is ALL it takes!

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Happy 4th of July

In honor of our 233rd celebration of our country, please enjoy reading our country’s Declaration of Independence.

 

In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
A DECLARATION
By the REPRESENTATIVES of the
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
In GENERAL CONGRESS assembled.

WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness—-That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the Present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People; unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.

He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislature.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

For imposing taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule in these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Powers to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.

He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic Insurrections among us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of the divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Signed by Order and in Behalf of the Congress,
JOHN HANCOCK, President.

Attest.
CHARLES THOMSON, Secretary.

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Judge NOT & love and understand as Jesus would (Matthew 7:1)

As I write this I am STILL recovering from the tongue lashing that I got from a patients wife yesterday.  We were having a congenial discussion about her spouse (the patient), and as I prepared to write orders and discuss the possible diagnoses, she went OFF.  I mentioned that his chronic abdominal cramps may, in the end (IF all the tests continue to come back negative) be entirely from stress.  Well she did NOT like that option at ALL.  “Don’t tell me it is stress! It is NOT stress! I KNOW it is not stress.  There is something wrong with him. That is what the other doctors said….”  She proceeded to sware at me for a good solid 2 minutes which seemed like a lifetime.  I was so frustrated and mad! I just finished a great book on how to be a better doctor, and I continue to try and improve my doctor skills.  In the book that I had just read, the author spoke about what a disservice doctors have done by just ordering more and more tests without getting at the heart of the matter and just talking with the patient.  It is SO frustrating to try to spend the time and show compassion and try and educate the patient to get spit in the face for it.  When you see over and over again that the patient is NOT interested in hearing what you have to say then you become hardened and numb and just give them what they want even if it is not necessary or the best treatment option!

After this very stressful situation, I found from the patients primary doctor that his wife has ‘gone off’ on him many times in the past, but that she is a professing Christian.  Now I was even more frustrated and angry.  I SO wanted to go back in to tell her how angry I am at her behavior.  How dare she act like that and claim to worship my precious Savior.

Now this is where the healing, the importance of fellowship, and the lessons were learned comes in.  I talked it over with one of my colleagues who is a believer.  And he challenged me to not judge her in that way.  OUCH!

He said: 1. just think how tough she would be without Christ and most importantly 2. you have never acted that way??? really never??? we are ALL like this at some time in our lives.  You MUST consider HER situation.  She is frustrated; she is scared; she has been dealing with this without any answers for months….WOW!

Now a day later, I see that God was teaching me a powerful review lesson on forgiveness, understanding, judgment, compassion, love, AND that I MUST continue to strive to love and go against the grain–and communicate with my patients with MORE compassion and understanding!

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How simple is the Christian walk of faith?

Here is a marvelous quote from 2 Christian missionaries who live in Africa about the Christian walk.

“Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength will take you to the end of yourself, and you will find yourself looking out over a precipice. Only God can keep you from falling. Only faith working through love counts. Let’s never leave the simplicity and purity of devotion to Jesus. All we know when the pressure becomes great is Jesus and Him crucified. We exist by the power of the Cross, safe and secure.”-Rolland and Heidi

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Imagine: Using our Minds and Imaginations to Grow Closer to God Part 2

Enjoy sermon #6 in the Animate Series by Greg Boyd

Here is an excellent book that helps with prayer life and using imaginitive exercises to grow closer to God:

Animate Sermon Series by Boyd (This is the link to notes on the Series)

Celebration of Disciplines by Foster (This is an AMAZING book on spiritual disciplines.  It is filled with GREAT quotes from Christian disciples and with practical ways to grow deeper with Christ.  It is a How To on prayer, Bible study, fasting, etc.  Below is an excerpt from the book.)

mediation exercise: “The following is a brief exercise to aid you in “re-collection” that is simply called “palms down, palms up.” Begin by placing your palms down as a symbolic indication of your desire to turn over any concerns you may have to God. Inwardly you may pray, “Lord, I give to you my anger toward John. I release my fear of my dentist appointment this morning. I surrender my anxiety over not having enough money to pay the bills this month. I release my frustration over trying to find a baby-sitter for tonight.” Whatever it is that weighs on your mind or is a concern to you, just say, “palms down.” Release it. You may even feel a certain sense of release in your hands. After several moments of surrender, turn your palms up as a symbol of your desire to receive from the Lord. Perhaps you will pray silently: “Lord, I would like to receive your divine love for John, your peace about the dentist appointment, your patience, your joy.” Whatever you need, you say, “palms up.” Having centered down, spend the remaining moments in complete silence. Do not ask for anything. Allow the Lord to commune with you, to love you.”-Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

Finally I end with a quote from Francisco whose devotion, passion, and focused imagery inspires and transforms our often lifeless faith.  Try starting your day with Jesus WAITING for YOU to take each day as a unique adventure!

“When I wake up every morning, Jesus is waiting for me.”-Francisco

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Imagine: Using our Minds & Imaginations to grow closer to God Part 1

I have placed 1 of the 8 sermon series on this post because it is so important for Christians in the U.S. to come back to the early church practices of prayer, meditation, and using ALL of our sense and especially using our imagination/minds.

As a western physician, my brain is entirely left without a right.  The use of imagery in prayer and in our walk with Him could transform our faith if we took the time to practice these exercises.

As a former atheist, I am quick  to put distance between myself and God when life is going smoothly and to be filled with doubt when life is going rough.  These sermons inspire and challenge all of us to use our minds/imaginations to grow closer to Him.

Animate Sermon Series by Boyd (This is the link to notes on the Series)

As always share with us your thoughts.

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Kingdom Living: Listen & Look for God moments

In Mike Erre’s newest book: Death by Church, he has an important chapter titled: Postures of Incarnation.  We need to show the world the incarnation through out actions.  We need to prayerfully watch and listen for the God moments–those moments every day where God is nudging us to show his love to others.

“I used to hate interuptions to my ministry until I understood that interruptions were my ministry.”-Henri Nouwen

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Worry Free Living by Bill

Worry-Free Living

Christian Soul Care Devotional

William Gaultiere, Ph.D.

In the Bible Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything” (Philippians 4:6). Is this really possible? Can you and I learn to be free of anxiety and worry?

Anxiety is probably the most common problem that Kristi and I have helped people with over the last twenty-five years. In our Christian Soul Care office, in churches, on retreats, and in small groups we’ve given care, counsel, and prayer to so many anxious people – including ourselves!

Is it any wonder why? We try to do too much in a day.  We push ourselves beyond our limits to achieve our goals. We think multi-tasking is good. We drive too fast. We’re information overloaded. We don’t know how to rest and we don’t get enough sleep. We don’t know the meaning of “good enough” or “enough” of anything. We want more than we have. We want better health than we have. We want to be happier than we are. We try to make other happy with us. We seek constant stimulation through entertainment, noise, over activity, adrenaline, or caffeine. And we’re sure that the grass is green on the other side of the fence and somehow we’ve got to get over there.

We think we’re anxious because of stress, but we’re wrong. We’re anxious because of our attitude. We don’t worry or become tense and agitated because of stress that happens to us – stress is a natural part of life. Our problem is that we respond to our life challenges by becoming fearful or by fighting against reality. This internalized stress in our bodies is anxiety and it does more to damage our health and our relationships than probably anything else.

Anxiety is considered a secondary emotion because we only feel anxious when we have unwanted emotions like fear, anger, shame, or sadness that we’re trying to get rid of. In other words, anxiety is a control problem. When you or I are anxious it’s because we’re trying to control things: how we feel, what people think of us, or the outcomes of situations in our lives.

People who are anxious usually feel that they shouldn’t be anxious – they’re upset at themselves for feeling like they do, for being “weak” or for needing help. They’re convinced that if they just try harder things will get better. But trying harder rarely makes things better. We need to learn to try differently, to train to become the kind of person who can rely on care from God and others and submit to God in all things and, therefore, be at peace.

We need to learn to trust God and others by opening up our hearts to care, being honest and vulnerable, admitting to and verbalizing our emotions regarding what’s stressing us out or hurting us. (It’s ironic that accepting the reality of an emotional problem and not rushing to “fix” it helps to relieve anxiety.)

And as part of receiving care it’s very important to focus on absorbing and agreeing with the compassion offered. To “agree with” someone’s care for you is to smile and say, “Thank you!” It’s to say to yourself, “Yes, I needed that listening. What a blessing my friend is to me.” It’s to repeat to yourself words of affirmation or encouragement that someone offers you. It’s to memorize a Bible verse that ministers to your soul and to marinate your mind in it, speaking God’s word to your soul in prayer over and over again. The Psalmist models for us this authentic faith in community and in prayer.

The Psalmist also continually submits himself to the Sovereign Lord’s will, rather than trying to make things turn out in his life the way he wants. He does ask God for what he wants, but then he waits… and waits! And in the waiting he learns to focus his wanting on developing a closer relationship with the Lord rather than being consumed with concern over one of they myriad of lesser blessings we all tend to desire. (It’s another surprising irony that when we deny ourselves we discover true life.) And when he’s angry because he’s been disappointed or mistreated he entrusts his anger to God and his justice rather than seeking revenge or becoming embittered.

Daily I use the Psalmist’s prayers to help me to live out his authentic faith in which he cries out to God. Many of his Psalms read like journal entries and help me to get in touch with and admit my own emotional struggles. And the Psalmist shows me how in the midst of my troubles I can give thanks for the Lord’s goodness to me and speak his words of love to myself.

Each day I also use the Psalmist’s prayers of submission to help me to get into Jesus’ easy yoke (as we discussed in the last Christian Soul Care Devotional). One of the ways that Jesus himself learned to submit to the Father and to stay in the Father’s easy yoke was through praying the Psalms. He prayed the Psalms everyday and he recited them frequently. For instance, one of my favorite prayers of submission is Jesus’ adaptation of Psalm 31:5, which he used during his suffering on the cross: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (Luke 23:46).

Real-life prayers of submission like Jesus’ cross prayer are the best way to eliminate anxiety. Jesus found this so important that he put submission right in the heart of the Lord’s Prayer – even before petitions and confession of sin – with the words: “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).

Honest prayer and submission to God really works! Some time ago I experienced a disappointment. I put my heart into preparing something and then I was told it wasn’t needed. I felt hurt and frustrated. I started to become anxious so rather than ruminate over the situation or become resentful I talked to God about how I felt (and I might add that I shared this with Kristi). Then a simple prayer of submission came to me: “Lord, your will, your way, your time.” Again and again I prayed this over my disappointment, deepening my submission to God in this matter in three fundamental ways:

  1. God’s will for me is always good and can be accomplished when I am mistreated or experience hardship
  2. God’s way for me to follow is always good and it focuses more on my character formation in Christ than the accomplishments or blessings I may want
  3. God’s time for me to receive what I seek is always good and it usually requires that I wait longer than I want

I have used this prayer of submission as a Centering Prayer for myself and others countless times since. It helps me follow the holy advice I received in spiritual direction from a Benedictine monk: “Relax in the yoke of God’s providence.”

What is something that you’re stressed about or hurting over? Talk to God and a friend honestly this situation and pray to relax in the yoke of God’s providence. Place your struggle before the Lord in prayer as you slowly repeat: “Lord, your will, your way, your time… Lord, your will, your way, your time… Lord, your will, your way, your time.”

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Is there really a satan? PART 3

This is the 3rd part of a 3 part series on the Biblical foundation of the spiritual truth of the demonic, the evidence of the demonic, and some evidence of the demonic learned from experience and C.S. Lewis. Uberlumen has chosen this 3 part series because we in the western world have lost site of the demonic.  As one friend has said: Don’t you think satan is real if Paul wrote about him?  Part of our Christian growth and walk must acknowledge the truths that we don’t like to think about and that we put into question in our society.
“The commonest question [I am asked about The Screwtape Letters] is whether I really ‘believe in the Devil.’
Now, if by ‘the Devil’ you mean a power opposite to God and, like God, self-existent from all eternity, the answer is certainly No.  There is no uncreated being except God.  God has no opposite.  No being could attain a ‘perfect badness’ opposite to the perfect goodness of God; for when you have taken away every kind of good thing (intelligence, will, memory, energy, and existence itself), there would be none of him left.
The proper question is whether I believe in devils.  I do.  That is to say, I believe in angels, and I believe that some of these, by the abuse of their free will, have become enemies to God and , as a corollary, to us.  These we may call devils.  They do not differ in nature from good angels, but their nature is depraved.  Devil is the opposite of angel only as Bad Man is the opposite of Good Man.  Satan, the leader or dictator of devils, is the opposite, not of God, but of Michael.
I believe this not in the sense that it is part of my creed, but in the sense that it is one of my opinions.  My religion would not be in ruins if this opinion were shown to be false.  Till that happens–and proofs of a negative and hard to come by–I shall retain it.  It seems to me to explain a good many facts.  It agrees with the plain sense of Scripture, the tradition of Christendom, and the beliefs of most men at most times.  And it conflicts with nothing that any of the sciences has shown to be true.”-C.S. Lewis, The Joyful Christian, pg 145
“One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe–a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin.  The difference is that Christianity thinks this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong.  Christianity agrees…this universe is at war.”-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
“…so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”-2 Cor. 4:16-18
As C.S. Lewis has pointed out in his ‘essential Christian reading’ book: The Screwtape Letters in which a young demon is mentored by his ‘uncle’ demon:
“Dear Wormwood…Your man has been accustomed, ever since he was a boy, to have a dozen incompatible philosophies dancing about together inside his head.  He doesn’t think of doctrines as primarily ‘true’ or ‘false’, but as ‘academic’ or ‘practical’, ‘outworn’ or ‘contemporary’, ‘conventional’ or ‘ruthless’.  Jargon, not argument, is your best ally in keeping him from the Church.  Don’t waste time trying to make him think that materialism is true!  Make him think it is strong, or stark, or courageous–that it is the philosophy of the future.  That’s the sort of thing he cares about…your affectionate uncle [demon]…Screwtape”
I also learned a great deal from a book on spiritual warfare titled:  The Invisible War by Chip Ingram
I also came across a very interesting and thought provoking article from Greg Boyd’s Blog where he discusses with a scientist the idea that there is too much evil for the kingdom of darkness NOT to exist…
Please share your insights with us.
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Is there really a satan? PART 2

This is the 2nd of 3 part series on the Biblical foundation of the spiritual truth of the demonic, the evidence of the demonic, and some evidence of the demonic learned from experience and C.S. Lewis. Uberlumen has chosen this 3 part series because we in the western world have lost site of the demonic.  As one friend has said: Don’t you think satan is real if Paul wrote about him?  Part of our Christian growth and walk must acknowledge the truths that we don’t like to think about and that we put into question in our society.
PART 2: Here are a podcast and a blog site by a missionary friend of mine who experiences the angelic and demonic daily in his ministry (we experience them daily as well but just live lives unaware of them).
  1. The reality of the demonic: a podcast from a missionary in the middle east
  2. The reality of the demonic (part 2) by same missionary
  3. Here is a brief story of the demonic from the same missionary

I have also come across some stories from my friend Mike Erre.  In his book about the Kingdom: Death by Church, he points out that we must shift our understanding of the kingdom, the Bible et al by taking a warfare worldview–the world is truly at war between evil and good. 

I know Mike to be very analytical and ‘western’ in his mindset.  So when Mike shares his personal experiences with the demonic on pages 104-106 of his book, I know that these stories are true, accurate, and VERY real.  I remain a healthy (or unhealthy?) skeptic without my own personal experiences with the demonic although I am thankful, and I have had several unexplainable experiences with the angelic and likely the demonic (without knowing it! which is the problem–it happens all the time, all around us but we have been duped into disbelief).

What are your thoughts on this subject? Please leave comments.

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Is there REALLY a satan? PART 1

This is the 1st of a 3 part series on the Biblical foundation of the spiritual truth of the demonic, the evidence of the demonic, and some evidence of the demonic learned from experience and C.S. Lewis. Uberlumen has chosen this 3 part series because we in the western world have lost site of the demonic.  As one friend has said: Don’t you think satan is real if Paul wrote about him?  Part of our Christian growth and walk must acknowledge the truths that we don’t like to think about and that we put into question in our society.
PART 1: The Biblical foundations of this spiritual truth.  We live between a clash of 2 kingdoms.  Enjoy this sermon by Mike on the Biblical truth of the kingdom of darkness.
As always please share with us your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
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Death is NOT Dying: Rachel Barkey’s Wisdom

Rachel Barkey may be on the other side of heaven already for all I know.  But her words are eternal.  She shares her thoughts on dying and truly living in this video (I added the audio for you to download or listen via uberlumen podcast on itunes).

She makes 4 points:

  • Know God
  • Know yourself
  • Know the Gospel
  • Know your purpose

Her video

Her book list

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Sex, Marriage, Intimacy and Screwtape Letters: chapters 18-19

Key Scriptures:
Genesis 2:25, Ephesians 5:25, 1 John 4:18
Key Teaching points:
Sex is a spiritual discipline
Brokenness
Confession
Cross
Key Quote:
“Submit to my wife’s version of intimacy.”
Key Quotes from The Love Dare:
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 42-46 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:03 AM

The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. You’ve no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 930-35 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:10 AM

Yet this great blessing is also the site of its greatest danger. Someone who knows us this intimately can either love us at depths we never imagined, or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It’s both the fire and the fear of marriage. Which of these are you experiencing the most in your home right now? Are the secrets your spouse knows about you reasons for shame, or reasons for drawing you closer? If your spouse were to answer this same question, would they say you make them feel safe, or scared? If home is not considered a place of safety, you will both be tempted to seek it somewhere else.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 938-47 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:12 AM

The Bible says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The atmosphere in your marriage should be one of freedom. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, your closeness should only intensify your intimacy. Being “naked” and “not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25) should exist in the same sentence, right in your marriage?physically and emotionally. Admittedly, this is tender territory. Marriage has unloaded another person’s baggage into your life, and yours into theirs. Both of you have reason to feel embarrassed that this much has been revealed about you to another living soul. But this is your opportunity to wrap all this private information about them in the protective embrace of your love, and promise to be the one who can best help him or her deal with it. Some of these secrets may need correcting. Therefore, you can be an agent of healing and repair?not by lecturing, not by criticizing, but by listening in love and offering support. Some of these secrets just need to be accepted. They are part of this person’s make-up and history. And though these issues may not be very pleasant to deal with, they will always require a gentle touch.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 953-55 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:13 AM

(Psalm 139:2?4). And yet God, who knows secrets about us that we even hide from ourselves, loves us at a depth we cannot begin to fathom. How much more should we?as imperfect people?reach out to our spouse in grace and understanding, accepting them for who they are and assuring them that their secrets are safe with us?
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 1689-90 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:15 AM

Even its boundaries and restrictions are God’s ways of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or in the movies.
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The Love Dare (Alex Kendrick)
– Highlight Loc. 1699-1701 | Added on Sunday, May 24, 2009, 07:16 AM

This same oneness is a hallmark of every marriage. In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other in an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That’s why “the marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.
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Journal Time:
What would you want your wife to know about you and sex and intimacy?
What are some ways that you can show your wife that you love her?
Is your marriage both physically and emotionally in line with Genesis 2:25 image of marriage? why or why not?  How can you make it that way?
Group Time:
Is marriage only good when you are ‘in love’?  Can we fall ‘in’ and ‘out’ of love? explain.
“…persuading the humans that a curious, and usually shortlived, experience which they call ‘being in love’ is the only respectable ground for marriage…”
How can we keep the ‘excitement permanent’?
“…that marriage can, and ought to, render this excitement permanent; and that a marriage which does not do so is no longer binding…”
Is marriage about happiness or holiness? explain.
“…Now comes the joke. The Enemy described a married couple as ‘one flesh’. He did not say ‘a happily married couple’ or ‘a couple who married because they were in love’, but you can make the humans ignore that….humans can be made to infer the false belief that the blend of affection, fear, and desire which they call ‘being in love’ is the only thing that makes marriage either happy or holy…”  (see 1 John 4:18)