#1 Emotionally Intelligent Moment of 2010

Happy New Year. Please note that all of these top 10 moments are from talentsmart, a great website based on the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0:

EQ Moment #1:
Armando Galarraga Robbed of Perfect Game

Consider this: in the roughly 400,000 Major League Baseball games played since 1876, only 20 perfect games have been thrown. When a pitcher makes it through an entire game without allowing an opponent to reach base, it’s a feat that is guaranteed to place him in the history books. Therefore, a real tragedy befell Detroit’s Armando Galarraga in June when his perfect game evaporated before his eyes. When (what should have been) the game’s final batter was thrown out at first, umpire Jim Joyce missed the call. Everyone—including the runner, who writhed in shock—knew he was out, but instant replay in baseball is reserved for disputed home runs, spectator interference, and fair/foul calls. The call stands.

Galarraga didn’t throw a tantrum on the field, he didn’t yell and curse at umpire Jim Joyce (though Joyce cried and cursed himself violently during postgame interviews), and he didn’t bemoan the world’s injustices. Instead, Galarraga took some time to think. He accepted his disappointment and sadness for what they were (and likely still are), and realized that funneling those emotions into anger would do nothing to help the situation. Instead, Galarraga’s incredible self-awareness and emotional perspective on the situation enabled him to find a way to make things better. Galarraga realized that his young son one day would hear about and see the video of the perfect game that had been taken away from him, and he decided it was a tremendous opportunity to teach his son about demonstrating emotional intelligence. For that, Armando Galarraga tops our list in 2010.

#2 Emotionally Intelligent Moment of 2010

EQ Moment #2:
Miners Survive on Team EQ

Imagine facing what appears to be certain death for 17 days, in the dark and 90° heat, cooped up with 33 of your coworkers. The Chilean miners endured this hellish situation prior to their first contact from above ground. The secret to their success? Team EQ. There’s no better example of a work team rising—literally—from the darkest depths and triumphing over disaster. The group survived their ordeal because each individual was willing to put his own needs aside—and keep his emotions in check—for the good of the group. For the first 17 days, each man’s daily diet consisted of a small piece of tuna, a few scraps of rotting leftovers, a small sip of ultra-pasteurized milk (every two days), and a drink of oil-tainted water siphoned from the ground and machine radiators.

From the very beginning, these men formed a productive team and took bold steps to manage themselves, their emotions, and their situation. The group chose a leader, assigned sub teams to tasks such as searching for an escape, and established a majority rule voting system. Five of the 33 miners, employees of a different subcontractor, had formed their own separate camp until persuaded to integrate with the other men for the good of the group. The men consciously chose organization and balance for their life underground by keeping a schedule for sleeping, using truck and helmet lights sparingly as rewards to keep their spirits up, and honking vehicle horns every hour in the faint hope that someone might hear them. They told stories and even played practical jokes to lighten the mood and provide moments of emotional release.

Team EQ doesn’t require heroic acts from everyone involved. Instead, each team member contributing to the small things makes a difference, and improves the team’s response to the emotional challenges that inevitably surface in the face of crisis. Whether they knew it or not, each miner’s contribution ensured that the intense emotions of fear, panic, shock, and despair didn’t derail the group’s survival efforts.

#5 Emotionally Intelligent Moment of 2010

EQ Moment #5:
Cardinals Quarterback Melts Down

Derek Anderson’s laughter on the sideline while his team was getting being slaughtered would only have registered as a blip on the public’s radar had he showed composure during the post-game interview. The reporter provided Anderson ample opportunity to explain himself, asking difficult questions in a careful and respectful manner. At first, Anderson was merely defensive, denying that he was laughing on the sideline, but once the reporter told him the episode had been broadcast on television, the quarterback immediately funneled his profound shame and embarrassment into anger . This sequence provides a perfect example of how easy it is for anyone to transfer emotions that are difficult to deal with—including shame, embarrassment, and fear—into anger, an emotion much easier to tolerate as it shifts blame outward to another entity. In Anderson’s case, a little self-awareness would have helped him realize he was heading down this path before he exploded, and self-management would have enabled him to tolerate the embarrassment of being caught red handed. If Anderson wasn’t sloughing off as the reporter suggested, he would have looked more innocent had he kept his cool in the aftermath.

#7 Emotionally Intelligent Moment of 2010

Another by Talentsmart–EQ Moment #7:
Dan Gilbert’s ‘Open Letter’ to LeBron James

LeBron “King” James, arguably the greatest to ever play the game of basketball, left Cleveland fans and the Cavaliers organization in suspense for months during his free agency. His announcement on primetime television that he was taking his talents to South Beach to join forces with NBA superstars Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh was a shock to all, especially the city of Cleveland. James’ decision to part ways after seven seasons in Cleveland instantly made him the most hated man in Ohio. Cavs majority owner Dan Gilbert joined the uproar and published an ‘Open Letter’ on the team’s website that expressed his reaction to James’ decision.

In the insulting letter, Gilbert bashed James’ nickname, called him “narcissistic,” and labeled James’ decision a “cowardly betrayal.” NBA commissioner David Stern fined the Cavs organization $100,000 for Gilbert’s imprudent comments.

The Cavaliers drafted LeBron straight out of high school in 2003, and the team’s value soared more than $200 million during the seven years he played there. We certainly understand why it would upset Gilbert to have his star player take his throne elsewhere, but LeBron’s response when asked how he felt about Gilbert’s reaction shows who was the one who really went overboard, “It made me feel more comfortable that I made the right decision.”

Not only did Gilbert’s lack of self-management and relationship-management skills cost him $100,000, but his grievous response to LeBron switching teams also affects the Cavs ability to lure new talent to sign with the organization. The fallout began when Gilbert made it a personal issue by verbally and publicly attacking James. Before Gilbert elected to lash out at James, he should have checked his emotional pulse and spoke to others within the organization who were not as emotionally invested in the situation. As the owner of the franchise, he could have discretely expressed how disheartening and unfortunate the situation was and wished James the best in the future. That would have been the emotionally intelligent thing to do.

#8 Emotionally Intelligent Moment of 2010

EQ Moment #8:
Conan O’Brien Statement: I Will Not Follow Jay at 12:05

Emotional intelligence is the skill that makes you look graceful under pressure. It also helps you to earn people’s respect by allowing you to communicate clearly and directly, even when you’d rather be hiding under a rock. Conan O’Brien did both in January when he was given, and was promptly relieved of, the job of a lifetime—hosting The Tonight Show on NBC.

It was a confusing situation, to say the least. Conan took over The Tonight Show when Jay Leno, the previous Tonight Show host, started a new program in an earlier time slot. Leno’s new show suffered from an extended period of poor ratings, and on January 10th, NBC told Conan that they’d be moving Leno back into his customary time slot, thereby sending Conan back to late-night programming. These decisions left Conan to wonder, Did Jay want The Tonight Show back because he was failing, or was NBC calling the shots? Whatever the situation, Conan was caught in the crossfire. Tonight Show fans wanted desperately for Conan to remain, yet the network made their intentions clear—go back to your old program or leave the network.

O’Brien needed to set the record straight but keep peace with all sides. He did so in a pitch-perfect response letter. The letter, addressed to “People of Earth,” adeptly shared fact with feeling in explaining the situation. It was honest, heartfelt, and personal. It shared his frustration with his predicament rather than simply bashing NBC. He knew how he was feeling (self-awareness), and he shared this openly and calmly (self-management). Despite the gravity of the situation, the letter didn’t spare the use of humor that his fans had come to love and expect (social awareness and relationship management). In short, Conan’s letter was an emotionally intelligent response at a difficult moment in his career, and it created the kind of closeness and intimacy with his fans that you can’t obtain any other way.

“Have a great day, and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.”

Yours,

Conan

#9 Emotionally Intelligent Moment of 2010

From Talentsmart:
Phillies fan gets tasered

In early May, the Phillies and Cardinals continued their age-old rivalry with a game at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. In the 8th inning, a 17-year-old fan ran onto the field, zigzagging his way through the outstretched arms of the police offers who tried to catch him. Eventually, one of the officers put an end to his escapade with a powerful (and unprecedented in this setting) shot from a taser gun. Why the taser? In America, baseball is big business—the competing clubs paid their players $1,465,000 to play in that game alone. Naturally, it’s going to ruffle a lot of feathers when a fan decides to stop the game and become the center of attention. More importantly, fans can be dangerous, as evidenced by the father-son tandem that ran onto the field in Chicago in 2005 and attacked a coach with a switchblade. The young Phillies fan knew it was illegal to run onto the field, and he was sober when he let his excitement take over.

Here’s the kicker. Before the kid ran onto the field, he called his father to ask for permission. Dad’s response? Not the best idea. And while we’ll never know just how strongly his father worded this so-called no, it clearly wasn’t enough to help his son fully engage his reason. With charges filed against the minor for defiant trespass, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest, this was an emotional intelligence strikeout for the whole family.

Lessons From Mom

I am not enough. This sentence echoes through the minds of most men (and many women) in our society. It is a burden we carry often from our dads (and sometimes our moms). We walk around doing all that we can to look good and feel like we are enough when in reality, we hear only a voice telling us that we are not enough.

My mom died this last summer, and a few months before she died, I was reminded once again of being enough. She was the voice that echoed to me that I was enough. I shared with her my newest adventure into becoming certified in professional coaching. She did what she did best with her kids. She looked straight into my eyes through into my soul, lightly wrapped her hand around my wrist, and said, “You will be great at that.”

I am reminded today, a day in which she would have turned 82, that she gave me the gift of being enough. She believed in me when I didn’t. This was her gift, and it is her legacy.

My youngest son is 8. He recently has gotten into learning how to throw a Frisbee. After every throw, he yells out, “Is that a good one?” The dutiful, worry wart, dad that I am thinks maybe he lacks self-esteem. As we are walking into the house after a Frisbee toss time, he looks at me and says, “Dad, do you think I am getting better?” Worried about his self-esteem, I ask him what he thinks. He immediately with a big smile says, “I think I am getting really great at throwing the Frisbee!” He is enough! And his Grandma’s legacy of being enough carries on in him and in all of us who she touched.

Are you enough? You are more enough than you could ever imagine. God said that you are His beloved. Can you feel His warm embrace? Can you hear His whisper in your ear, “You are my beloved. I adore you.” Even though my mom gave me the gift, I continue to live with the wound of feeling that I am not enough. It has only been recently that I have begun to embrace my enoughness. Don’t settle for the dial tone of not enough. Listen to the gentle voice that KNOWS that you are enough and so much more.

Mom is finally in a place where “I am not enough” doesn’t even exist. I am so grateful today, her birthday, for her gift. I am enough, Mom. I will always be enough. I am beloved, embraced, and delighted in. Thanks Mom. I miss you.

Nerves: Anxiety and Fear

My college advisor was an expert on studying stress hormones. He always taught us that stress response/fear response is a healthy adaptive response when you are being chased down by a tiger, but when you get bad news from your boss, your stress response/fear response fires off but your body just sits there firing off all that stress while you sit at your desk.

I see stress, anxiety, and fear EVERY day at work. Most of my patients deny that they are stressed when most of their symptoms are from stress.

This excerpt about fear and anxiety is VERY telling and interesting.

“The average high schooler today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950s:
“When you think about it, it’s one of the great ironies of our time: we now inhabit a modernized, industrialized, high-tech world that presents us with fewer and fewer legitimate threats to our survival, yet we appear to find more and more things to be anxious about with each passing year. Unlike our pelt-wearing prehistoric ancestors, our survival is almost never jeopardized in daily life. When was the last time you felt in danger of being attacked by a lion, for example, or of starving to death? Between our sustenance-packed superstores, our state-of-the-art hospitals, our quadruplecrash-tested cars, our historically low crime rates, and our squadrons of consumer-protection watchdogs, Americans are safer and more secure today than at any other point in human history.
“But just try telling that to our brains, because they seem to believe that precisely the opposite is true. At the turn of the millennium, as the nation stood atop an unprecedented summit of peace and prosperity, anxiety surged past depression as the most prominent mental health issue in the United States. America now ranks as the most anxious nation on the planet, with more than 18 percent of adults suffering from a full-blown anxiety disorder in any given year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. (On the other hand, in Mexico – a place where one assumes there’s plenty to fret about – only 6.6 percent of adults have ever met the criteria for significant anxiety issues.) Stress related ailments cost the United States an estimated $300 billion per year in medical bills and lost productivity, and our usage of sedative drugs has shot off the charts: between 1997 and 2004, Americans more than doubled their yearly spending on antianxiety medications like Xanax and Valium, from $900 million to $2.1 billion. And as the psychologist and anxiety specialist Robert Leahy has pointed out, the seeds of modern worry get planted early. ‘The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950s,’ he writes. Security and modernity haven’t brought us calm; they’ve somehow put us out of touch with how to handle our fears.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. After all, fear is truly our most essential emotion, a finely tuned protective gift from Mother Nature. Think of fear as the body’s onboard security system: when it detects a threat – say, a snarling, hungry tiger – it instantly sends the body into a state of high alert, and before we even comprehend what’s going on, we’ve already leapt to the safety of a fortified Range Rover. In this context, fear is our best friend; it makes all of the major decisions for us, keeps the personage as freed from tiger claws as possible, and then dissipates once the threat has subsided. …
“What makes a person capable of keeping cool and doing their duty in terrifying situations like [these]? …
“Fortunately – and not a moment too soon – a flood of cuttingedge research from psychologists, neuroscientists, and scholars from all disciplines is now coming together to show us what fear and stress really are, how they work in our brains, and why so much of what we thought we knew about dealing with them was dead wrong. Picking a painstaking trail through the labyrinth of the brain, a neuroscientist from the bayou traces our mind’s fear center to two tiny clusters of neurons, uncovering the subconscious roots of fear. Using a simple thought experiment, a Harvard psychologist discerns why our efforts to control our minds backfire, and why a directive like ‘just relax’ can actually make you more anxious. Employing one minor verbal suggestion, a group of Stanford researchers find they can make young test takers’ scores plummet in a spiral of worry – or hoist them right back up. Across the nation, intrepid scientists are discovering why athletes choke under pressure, how the human mind transforms in an emergency, why unflappable experts make good decisions under stress, and how fear can warp our ability to think.”

Author: Taylor Clark
Title: Nerve

Publisher: Little, Brown
Date: Copyright 2011 by Taylor Clark
Pages: 10-12, 15

Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness

I just finished a very thoughtful book titled: Emotional Intelligence 2.0.  Here are some brief notes that I learned about Self-Awareness.  The book focuses on 4 parts to E.I.-Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social-Awareness, and Social-Management.

Self-Awareness:  To know yourself as you really are & to notice and understand your emotions

1. Allow yourself to sit with an emotion and become fully aware of it especially when emotions pop up or boil to the surface

2. Know who pushes your buttons and how they do it

3. Use books, music, and books to analyze and look at your emotions

Finally, keep a journal of emotions based on these 3 key points.

Parenting Top 10

The latest edition of Mind magazine from Scientific American had an article about parenting. Including a top 10 list of key factors in parenting that predict a strong parent-child bond and children’s happiness, health, and success. Some are obvious, but others may not be.

The one that I continue to see that many parents can’t believe and don’t follow is that a strong parental relationship is KEY to happy and successful kids. A kid centered family is NOT healthy. We must date our spouse. The love that you show your spouse in some studies has been shown to be MORE important at times than the love you show your kids. The love you show your spouse is also a key model for your kids to see relationship love, respect, and support so they will hopefully have a successful marriage…

1. Love and affection. You support and accept the child, are physi-
cally affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.
2. Stress management. You take steps to reduce stress for yourself
and your child, practice relaxation techniques and promote posi-
tive interpretations of events.
3. Relationship skills. You maintain a healthy relationship with your
spouse and model effective relationship skills with other people.
4. Autonomy and independence. You treat your child with respect and
encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant.
5. Education and learning. You promote and model learning and
provide educational opportunities for your child.
6. Life skills. You provide for your child, have a steady income and
plan for the future.
7. Behavior management. You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed.
8. Health. You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your child.
9. Religion. You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities.
10. Safety. You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child’s activities and friends. —excerpt from Mind magazine

Give Thanks!

My youngest son listed what he was thankful for: Mom and Dad, his dogs, brother, sister, all living things, and me.  Not me but himself.  I have never seen some list themselves on a thankful list.  Cute and thought provoking.  We might all be happier if we could be thankful that God created us, that we are special, that we matter.  It points to my son feeling satisfied about who he is; he feels good about himself.

I am thankfully challenged.  My project for the 25 days leading up to Christmas is to call a friend every day and share with him one item each day that I am thankful.

Maybe we would all be better off being thankful for ourselves and each other…

“Constructive” Criticism

Does “constructive” criticism work?  Answer: NO!  Dale Carnegie’s #1 rule: Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain is founded on the reality that we DO NOT respond to criticism.

Why? Because he writes: “ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.”   He goes on to say that “criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.  Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”

In fact, the father of behavioral psychology, B.F. Skinner, “proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.  Later studies showed that the same applies to humans.  By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.”

So when will we “get this”? Constructive criticism DOES NOT WORK.  We must turn to the positive.  Wouldn’t it be exciting to try it!  What if the next round of evaluations at the office were filled with all things positive?  How might the climate change?

“Consider the annual performance planning process…a process dreaded by leader and subordinate alike!…What is possible when we focus on unleashing potential by giving direction, position, and conditions to individuals rather than assessing potential as under-performance or failure to perform?…focusing on what we want rather than what we don’t want activates the inherent strengths, gifts, and creativity of each person…”-Janet Harvey, MA, MCC

Happy Thanksgiving! The Meeting Between Squanto and the Pilgrims

I love Thanksgiving not for the food, but it provides me with a reminder to thank and be thankful.

The excerpt below is a great reminder that our perspective can significantly change our understanding of the truth of the story.  I was raised on the North American Indian being primitive when in reality, we, the Northern European settlers, were the primitive ones in many ways.

‘In today’s excerpt – Thanksgiving. The meeting in 1621 between “Squanto,” other Native Americans and the Pilgrims, as seen from the perspective of those Native Americans:

“On March 22, 1621, an official Native American delegation walked through what is now southern New England to negotiate with a group of foreigners who had taken over a recently deserted Indian settlement. At the head of the party was an uneasy triumvirate: Massasoit, the sachem (political-military leader) of the Wampanoag confederation, a loose coalition of several dozen villages that controlled most of southeastern Massachusetts; Samoset, sachem of an allied group to the north; and Tisquantum [‘Squanto’], a distrusted captive whom Massasoit had reluctantly brought along as an interpreter.

“Massasoit was an adroit politician but the dilemma he faced would have tested Machiavelli. About five years before, most of his subjects had fallen before a terrible calamity. Whole villages had been depopulated [from disease] – indeed the foreigners ahead now occupied one of the empty sites. It was all he could do to hold together the remnants of his people. Adding to his problems, the disaster had not touched the Wampanoag’s longtime enemies – the Narragansett alliance to the west. Soon Massasoit feared they would take advantage of the Wampanoag’s weakness and overrun them.

“Desperate threats require desperate countermeasures. In a gamble Massasoit intended to abandon, even reverse, a long-standing policy. Europeans had been visiting New England for at least a century. Shorter than the natives, oddly dressed, and often unbearably dirty, the pallid foreigners had peculiar blue eyes that peeped out of the masks of bristly animal-like hair that encased their faces. They were irritatingly garrulous, prone to fits of chicanery, and often surprisingly incompetent at what seemed to Indians like basic tasks. But they also made useful and beautiful goods – copper kettles, glittering colored glass, and steel knives and hatchets – unlike anything else in New England. Moreover they would exchange these valuable items for cheap furs of the sort used by Indians as blankets. It was like happening upon a dingy kiosk that would swap fancy electronic goods for customers’ used socks. …

“Over time the Wampanoag, like other native societies in coastal New England, had learned how to manage the European presence. They encouraged the exchange of goods, but would only allow their visitors to stay ashore for brief, carefully controlled excursions. … Now Massasoit was visiting a group of British with the intent of changing the rules. He would permit the newcomers to stay for an unlimited time – provided they formally allied with the Wampanoag against the Narragansett.

“Tisquantum the interpreter had shown up alone at Massasoit’s home a year and a half before. He spoke fluent English because he had lived for several years in Britain. But Massasoit didn’t trust him. … And he refused to use him to negotiate with the colonists until he had another independent means of communication with them. … Their meeting was a critical moment in American history. The foreigners called their colony Plymouth; they themselves were the famous Pilgrims. As schoolchildren learn, at that meeting the Pilgrims obtained the services of Tisquantum – usually known as ‘Squanto.’

“[In our high school texts the story is told that] ‘a friendly Indian named Squanto helped the colonists. He showed them how to plant corn and how to live on the edge of the wilderness. A soldier Captain Miles Standish taught the Pilgrims how to defend themselves against unfriendly Indians.’ The story isn’t wrong so far as it goes. But the impression it gives is entirely misleading.”

Author: Charles C. Mann
Title: 1491
Publisher: Vintage
Date: Copyright 2005, 2006 by Charles C. Mann
Pages: 34-36

Visualization, The Power of the Mind, and Metaphor

“Your brain has a difficult time distinguishing between what you see with your eyes and what you visualize in your mind.  In fact, MRI scans of people’s brains taken while they are watching the sun set are virtually indistinguishable from scans taken when the same people visualize a sunset in their mind.  The same brain regions are active in both scenarios.”-Travis Bradberry & Jean greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0

I have pointed out in the past the power of the placebo (see Hippocrates Shadow by Newman), and here again, it is clear that we do not tap into the power of our minds to transform our lives.  The use of visualizations has been shown to be very powerful during prayer (see Seeing Is Believing by Greg Boyd), and the use of metaphor and other visualization exercises can be a powerful way to change one’s perspective.

Smile & Laugh More: It’s good for you!

“French university researchers measured the power of a smile by having two groups of subjects read the same comics page from the newspaper.  One group of subjects was instructed to hold a pencil in their teeth while reading (which activates the muscles used in smiling), while the other group held the pencil with their lips (which does not activate the muscles used in smiling).  Those who were unknowingly “smiling” found the cartoons far more humorous and had a better time while reading them than people in the group that weren’t smiling.”-Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Location 1102-1113

The Village Elder by Rob Bell

Rob does an amazing job of pointing out what adventures can await us as we grow…..older…

He did not mention one of my favorite examples: Saint Patrick.  Patrick STARTED his ministry at age 40, and he ended his ministry 40 years later after founding an estimated 800 churches! WOW! Old guys rule!

Practice, Practice, Practice Creates Experts

In today’s excerpt – practice. Rather than being the result of genetics or inherent genius, truly outstanding skill in any domain is rarely achieved with less than ten thousand hours of practice over ten years’ time

“For those on their way to greatness [in intellectual or physical endeavors],
several themes regarding practice consistently come to light:

1. Practice changes your body. Researchers have recorded a constellation of physical changes (occurring in direct response to practice) in the muscles, nerves, hearts, lungs, and brains of those showing profound increases in skill level in any domain.
2. Skills are specific. Individuals becoming great at one particular skill do not serendipitously become great at other skills. Chess champions can remember hundreds of intricate chess positions in sequence but can have a perfectly ordinary memory for everything else. Physical and intellectual changes are ultraspecific responses to particular skill requirements.
3. The brain drives the brawn. Even among athletes, changes in the brain are arguably the most profound, with a vast increase in precise task knowledge, a shift from conscious analysis to intuitive thinking (saving time and energy), and elaborate self-monitoring mechanisms that allow for constant adjustments in real time.
4. Practice style is crucial. Ordinary practice, where your current skill level is simply being reinforced, is not enough to get better. It takes a special kind of practice to force your mind and body into the kind of change necessary to improve.
5. Short-term intensity cannot replace long-term commitment. Many crucial changes take place over long periods of time. Physiologically, it’s impossible to become great overnight.

“Across the board, these last two variables – practice style and practice
time – emerged as universal and critical. From Scrabble players to dart players to soccer players to violin players, it was observed that the uppermost achievers not only spent significantly more time in solitary study and drills,
but also exhibited a consistent (and persistent) style of preparation that K. Anders Ericsson came to call ‘deliberate practice.’ First introduced in a 1993 Psychological Review article, the notion of deliberate practice went far beyond
the simple idea of hard work. It conveyed a method of continual skill improvement. ‘Deliberate practice is a very special form of activity that differs
from mere experience and mindless drill,’ explains Ericsson. ‘Unlike playful
engagement with peers, deliberate practice is not inherently enjoyable. It …
does not involve a mere execution or repetition of already attained skills but
repeated attempts to reach beyond one’s current level which is associated with
frequent failures.’ …

“In other words, it is practice that doesn’t take no for an answer; practice that perseveres; the type of practice where the individual keeps raising the
bar of what he or she considers success. …

“[Take] Eleanor Maguire’s 1999 brain scans of London cabbies, which revealed greatly enlarged representation in the brain region that controls spatial awareness. The same holds for any specific task being honed; the relevant
brain regions adapt accordingly. …

“[This type of practice] requires a constant self-critique, a pathological restlessness, a passion to aim consistently just beyond one’s capability so that daily disappointment and failure is actually desired, and a never-ending resolve to dust oneself off and try again and again and again. …

“The physiology of this process also requires extraordinary amounts of
elapsed time – not just hours and hours of deliberate practice each day,
Ericsson found, but also thousands of hours over the course of many years. Interestingly, a number of separate studies have turned up the same common
number, concluding that truly outstanding skill in any domain is rarely achieved in less than ten thousand hours of practice over ten years’ time (which comes to an average of three hours per day). From sublime pianists to unusually profound physicists, researchers have been very hard-pressed to find any examples of truly extraordinary performers in any field who reached the top of their game before that ten-thousand-hour mark.”

Author: David Shenk
Title: The Genius in All of Us
Publisher: Doubleday
Date: Copyright 2010 by David Shenk
Pages: 53-57