Category Archives: Mindfulness

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What is the question that will change your day?

The other night working in the Emergency Department I was dog tired as I picked up a chart of a patient to see.  After I obtained the pertinent medical information from this patient, I then asked my 94 year old patient, “Where were you during world war 2?”

He proceeded to share a little known story about his time working with General Patton.  The patient told me that even his own grandkids don’t ask nor seem interested in his life experiences.  It was an interesting and amazing patient interaction.  I left that conversation so energized that the last 2 hours of my shift flew by.

Reflecting on this event, reminds me of the power of our ability to choose what perspective we will be in and what powerful question we can ask of ourselves and others.  Perspective: It is amazing to me how quickly I can shift from ‘dog tired’ perspective to ‘wow what an incredible patient and story’ perspective–shifting from falling asleep to being fully awake–better than any cup of caffeine!  Question: It is fun and shocking the power of a question to shift our thoughts and energy levels.  I recently asked at a dinner party: What do you crave?  This one question made for a deep and meaningful and laughter filled discussion.

What is the question that you could ask at work and at home that would energize or change your day for the better?

 

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The Gecko & The Geek

Our brain is often at war with itself.  The primitive emotional centers (The Gecko) vs. the advanced intellectual centers (The Geek). The Gecko gets us in trouble because it’s only capacity is to react whereas the Geek thinks, then reacts.

The Geko takes over when we are feeling stressed or out of control, and it reacts with fight or flight.  Unfortunately, This does not happen consciously, and The Gecko causes us not to think straight, react instead of act, fight first ask questions later, and put our foot in our mouth.  When stresses pile up and we feel out of control, the Gecko shows up, and we become less productive, effective, and lose our decision-making abilities.  In fact, scientific studies have shown that when we experience too much stress and overwhelm, our performance tanks.  Stressful things like financial loss are actually processed in the same area of the brain that responds to mortal danger aka The Gecko area.  We have all learned often the hard way that we make horrible decisions when we are under financial stress or any type of stress.

 

How can we be more Geek and less Gecko?

  1. Self-awareness.  Studies show that when you put people under high levels of stress, those who are quickest to recover are those who can identify how they are feeling and express their feelings into words.  Scientists, using brain scans, confirm that people who talk about and/or write about their feelings at the time they are experiencing negative emotions immediately over come these negative thoughts and feelings which improves their well-being and enhances their decision making skills.
  2. Make 2 lists: things you have control over and things that you don’t.  Burn the list that you have no control over–they are out of your control! And focus on the areas that you have control over.  So no news is good news after all.  I have made it a habit of not reading the newspaper and watching the news on TV because it only stresses me out.  Now I know why it stresses me out, and why it has been scientifically shown to be counterproductive.  It fills my brain with things that I have no control over allowing my Gecko to run wild.  So maybe we should change the phrase “G.I.G.O” from Garbage In Garbage Out to Garbage In Gecko Out.
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We are Not Very Rational: Our Choices are Driven by Our Emotions

In today’s excerpt – each decision we make, however rational we believe it to be, is an emotional, neurochemical tug-of-war inside our brain:

“Consider this clever experiment designed by Brian Knutson and George Loewenstein. The scientists wanted to investigate what happens inside the brain when a person makes typical consumer choices, such as buying an item in a retail store or choosing a cereal. A few dozen lucky undergraduates were recruited as experimental subjects and given a generous amount of spending money. Each subject was then offered the chance to buy dozens of different objects, from a digital voice recorder to gourmet chocolates to the latest Harry Potter book. After the student stared at each object for a few seconds, he was shown the price tag. If he chose to buy the item, its cost was deducted from the original pile of cash. The experiment was designed to realistically simulate the experience of a shopper.

“While the student was deciding whether or not to buy the product on display, the scientists were imaging the subject’s brain activity. They discovered that when a subject was first exposed to an object, his nucleus accumbens (NAcc) was turned on. The NAcc is a crucial part of the dopamine reward pathway, and the intensity of its activation was a reflection of desire for the item. If the person already owned the complete Harry Potter collection, then the NAcc didn’t get too excited about the prospect of buying another copy. However, if he had been craving a George Foreman grill, the NAcc flooded the brain with dopamine when that item appeared.

“But then came the price tag. When the experimental subject was exposed to the cost of the product, the insula and prefrontal cortex were activated. The insula produces aversive feelings and is triggered by things like nicotine withdrawal and pictures of people in pain. In general, we try to avoid anything that makes our insulas excited. This includes spending money. The prefrontal cortex was activated, scientists speculated, because this rational area was computing the numbers, trying to figure out if the product was actually a good deal. The prefrontal cortex got most excited during the experiment when the cost of the item on display was significantly lower than normal.

“By measuring the relative amount of activity in each brain region, the scientists could accurately predict the subjects’ shopping decisions. They knew which products people would buy before the people themselves did. If the insula’s negativity exceeded the positive feelings generated by the NAcc, then the subject always chose not to buy the item. However, if the NAcc was more active than the insula, or if the prefrontal cortex was convinced that it had found a good deal, the object proved irresistible. The sting of spending money couldn’t compete with the thrill of getting something new.

“This data, of course, directly contradicts the rational models of micro- economics; consumers aren’t always driven by careful considerations of price and expected utility. You don’t look at the electric grill or box of chocolates and perform an explicit cost-benefit analysis. Instead, you outsource much of this calculation to your emotional brain and then rely on relative amounts of pleasure versus pain to tell you what to purchase. (During many of the decisions, the rational prefrontal cortex was largely a spectator, standing silently by while the NAcc and insula argued with each other.) Whichever emotion you feel most intensely tends to dictate your shopping decisions. It’s like an emotional tug of war.”

Author: Jonah Lehrer
Title: The Decisive Moment
Publisher: Canongate
Date: Copyright 2009 by Jonah Lehrer
Pages: 192-194

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Being Realistic is Over-rated

“Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity…The moment you decide to be realistic you can pretty much guarantee that is what will happen…”-Will Smith

Is anyone else tired of being realistic?  A saboteur (or gremlin) is a self limiting voice that whispers into our mind.  The saboteur is the voice that “shoulds” on us.  It tells us what we should do not what we can be.

Realistic is the penultimate saboteur.  I can hear the voice: “You will never be able to do that, be realistic.”

Let us today press pause on that voice, and listen to the other voice-the voice that speaks to our heart and soul.  The voice that says, “You can do it!”

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Thankful Lyrics

“Thankful” by Josh Groban

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can’t see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There’s so much sorrow
It’s way too late to say
I’ll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It’s so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences
There is a place we’re all connected
Each of us can find each other’s light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There’s so much to be thankful for

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What Are Our BEST Moments?

The high energy cases.  The patients that take up all the time, effort, AND ENERGY always seem to be the ones that create the most discussion and stress among us (doctors, nurses, etc.).  We always raise such a fuss and express so much frustration, anxiety, and stress when the ‘difficult’ patient arrives.  You know the ones: too much alcohol, too much craziness, too much neediness…  When these ‘difficult’ patients are not around everything moves smoothly.  We are in autopilot.  Isn’t ironic that the ‘difficult’ patients and situations at work turn up the energy?  From mundane to stresssss!  But these are the patients and situations that generate all our energy, all of our discussions.  When our loved ones ask about work, we share with them about the high energy moments.  These ‘difficult’ patients and moments are often the only thing(s) we remember about the day.

Contrary to what we usually believe–the passive, relaxing times are the best moments of our lives.  What if our best moments are occurring right before our eyes when our bodies and minds are stretched to the limits in our efforts to deal with these ‘difficult’ patients, people, and situations (This is what Professor Csikszentmihalyi points out in his landmark book: Flow).  What if the ‘difficult’ is really the technicolor of our lives?  If you are like me, I am thinking that these difficult times are the worst times, filled with negative energy, negative feelings, etc.  BUT I am working to change my perspective on this.  As I become more aware of these ‘difficult’ moments, I am able to embrace them, explore them, feel them…because in the end, they may actually be the best or at least the most memorable moments of our lives so let’s look at them for just that…technicolor, heart racing, fully alive, high energy moments…

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Present Perfect, Living in the Now Here

One of the fundamental principles of coaching is the practice of what I call: Present Perfect.  The art of being in the now here (Brennan Manning is known for saying that you are either Now Here or Nowhere).  This practice is known by other names such as process or mindfulness.

The lack of mindfulness or living in the now creates a frantic pace to our lives that is fraught with stress, limiting our experiences, and not embracing life to the fullest.  When we are fully present aka present perfect, we are able to fully experience life.

So how do we live in the now? Here are a few ways:

  • Record Your Moments: Record some random moments for a week.
    • Set your alarm on your smart phone or your watch or whenever your phone rings in the next week STOP what you are doing
    • Carry a 3×5 card with you and write down what you are doing at the moment when your alarm goes off.  Ask yourself what are you doing in this moment? What do you notice? What are you feeling? What are you thinking?
    • This is a great way to start to exercise your living in the moment muscles…
  • Freeze Frame: This week when you are with your loved ones stop and ponder:
    • Are you fully present?
    • What are you feeling, hearing, tasting, seeing, doing….
  • Body Check: Stop for a moment and check in with your body…
    • Let go of your current struggles/to do list/etc.
    • Notice your breathing
    • Notice places in your body that are tense and relax them
    • Take note of what happens when you do these things…what is possible from this place that wasn’t before?

So how do YOU live life in the now? Any ideas? Please share your ways/tricks to stay in the present, now here of your life.