Category Archives: Men on the Path

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Men’s Group January 21, 2009: David’s Grace to Mephibosheth

Passage: 2 Samuel 9

David asked, “Is there anyone remaining from Saul’s family I can show kindness to because of Jonathan?”2 There was a servant of Saul’s family named Ziba. They summoned him to David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?””[I am] your servant,” he replied. So the king asked, “Is there anyone left of Saul’s family I can show the kindness of God to?”Ziba said to the king, “There is still Jonathan’s son who is lame in both feet.”  The king asked him, “Where is he?”Ziba answered the king, “You’ll find him in Lo-debar at the house of Machir son of Ammiel.” So King David had him brought from the house of Machir son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.Mephibosheth son of Jonathan son of Saul came to David, bowed down to the ground and paid homage. David said, “Mephibosheth!””I am your servant,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “since I intend to show you kindness because of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all your grandfather Saul’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.”Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant that you take an interest in a dead dog like me?”Then the king summoned Saul’s attendant Ziba and said to him, “I have given to your master’s grandson all that belonged to Saul and his family. You, your sons, and your servants are to work the ground for him, and you are to bring in [the crops] so your master’s grandson will have food to eat. But Mephibosheth, your master’s grandson, is always to eat at my table.” Now Ziba had 15 sons and 20 servants.Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do all my lord the king commands.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s  table just like one of the king’s sons. Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica. All those living in Ziba’s house were Mephibosheth’s servants. However, Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem because he always ate at the king’s table. He was lame in both feet.

 

 

1. Why did David show kindness to Mephibosheth?

 

2. Why is David’s kindness to Mephibosheth so significant?  What did the incoming king usually do to the outgoing king and his family?


3. What would you have done?  


4. Who is your Jonathan?


5. How did you develop a Jonathan friendship?  What does it take to develop a Jonathan friendship?


6. What is your Mephibosheth? (Where are you ‘lame’? What is your ‘tweak’?)


7. How does God respond to our ‘tweaks’? to our deformities?


8. How can we respond to other’s ‘tweaks’/deformities?

Dave wrote:

Cynthia and I just finished watching Evan Almighty.   Some of you are probably aware that Cynthia serves Pathways by teaching the 4th/5th graders every other Sunday.  Well, last Sunday (1/18) the lesson was on Noah.  One of the children brought up the movie, Evan Almighty.  Turns out, all of the kids in Cynthia’s class had seen it; neither one of us had.  If you have not seen this movie, I recommend you do; we really enjoyed it.  So, what does this have to do with our Men of the Path meeting last week?  In Bucky’s absence (welcome back Bucky), Drew taught on 2Samuel 9, which is the story of David and Mephibosheth.  (Don’t worry, when read the story, the name Mephibosheth comes up often enough you will be able to pronounce it before you finish).  {Pause, while you read the scripture.}  Okay, now that you’ve read the story (and if you’ve seen the movie) you can see the connection.  At the end of the movie, God writes the word “ARK” in the sand for Evan.  ARK is an acronym for Act of Random Kindness.  In 2Samuel 9, David shows Mephibosheth an Act of Random Kindness.  David’s word to his friend, Jonathan, took precedence over the world’s view of what a king should do.  In the culture of the day, a king would kill all members of the outgoing king’s family.  Mephibosheth was the “son of Jonathan, son of Saul,” as the Bible puts it; Mephibosheth was Saul’s grandson.  He not only had this as a mark against him but Mephibosheth was also lame in both feet.  In David’s day, people had no use for a cripple; they were generally ignored by society and left to die.  I got the impression that nearly everyone forgot about Mephibosheth; he was considered worthless.  Can you imagine what was going through Mephibosheth’s mind as he was being escorted to see the new king?  The man his grandfather was trying to kill?  The man who conquered and now ruled the land?  Verse 7 tells us the answer;  “David said, don’t be afraid.”  Rather than follow the culture of the world, David chose an Act of Random Kindness.  Mephibosheth got to eat at King David’s table every night and was given all of his grandfather’s land and servants.  In the end, Mephibosheth enjoyed a privileged life.  So, I ask, have you shown an ARK lately?  Has God blessed you and have you given that blessing back by showing kindness to someone who may need it right now?  Do you know there are men and women at Pathways who have been unemployed for some time?  Have you talked to them or prayed for them lately?  Have you asked them how you can help?  As I write this I find myself saying I have not done enough.  I pray for them but I have not been in close communication with them.  I know I cannot offer financial assistance but I can offer words of encouragement, a handshake or a hug.  I hope this touches your heart enough to seek out those who are struggling and ask how you can help.  If you don’t know who the unemployed are, ask Bucky, or one of the elders.  There are a lot of churches and a lot of men’s groups out there.  So how can we be different?  By walking our talk.  Remember, we are a community, a family.  And, we aren’t just any men’s group; we are the Men of the Path.  Let’s reach out and show we care (see Acts 2:42-47 for a biblical example of truly sharing in community and fellowship and what God did in return).

As always, please share your thoughts with us.

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Men’s Group January 14, 2009 David’s ‘meekness’

Last  Wednesday Bucky  covered Psalm 37 and 1Samuel 24 (where David spares Saul’s life).  Please take a few minutes and read both of those before you continue.  Remember, your relationship with God is only as good as what you put into it.  I like how Bucky has connected a Psalm each week to a part of David’s story.  These two (now that you’ve read them) relate because David’s prayer in Psalm 37 revolves around not paying evil with evil but leaving the revenge to the Lord.  And, as usual, David speaks from experience.  David knows if we repay evil with evil, evil will come back to us (our moment of power will be short-lived).  If we truly trust God then we will trust in the justice of God.  Bucky made it clear this Psalm is about one-to-one situations; it generally does not apply to nations. In other words, we must turn the other check and pray for the person, not seek out our own vengeance.  This applies to our families, work, neighbors, etc.  Bucky really threw me when he said David showed meekness when Saul entered that cave to “relieve himself” giving David the chance to kill him (it is amazing the restraint David showed because his men were urging him to kill Saul – a sign of a true leader).  The word meekness just didn’t seem to fit, you know, like,” themeek shall inherit the earth,” from the Beatitudes.  I always thought of the meekas being the wimpy, quiet, nerdy types.  Then Bucky gave the following definition of meekness:  meekness is power and aggression under control and channeled in a different way.  Wow!  David was showing his controlled power by cutting Saul’s robe to let him know he could have killed him.  He was channeling his aggression by pulling back and letting Saul know, “I am not the bad guy here.”    Even though David was on the run from Saul; even though David lost everything (remember the five things he lost from Bucky’s message on Sunday – his job, his wife, his best friend, his spiritual leader and his self respect), David did not repay evil with evil when he had the chance.  David left justice up to God, and even though Saul pulled back in tears this time, he still pursued David and David went through more gut-wrenching situations before God brought that justice.  After all, it is in God’s time, not ours, right?  Imagine if we lived this way in our jobs, with our families and in our neighborhoods. 

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Men’s Group January 7, 2009: What is your giant in 2009?

What is your giant in 2009? How can you make your giant into a dwarf?

We discussed David’s response to his giant-Goliath:

1. He relied on his past.

  • Tool chest: God gives each of us a unique set of tools/gifts that we must use.  David’s tools was his ability to fight lions and bears.  With this unique skill, he was able to face his giant with confidence.
  • God’s faithfulness: I know of some friends who keep a diary/journal logging all of God’s faithfulness in the peaks and pits of life so that they can look back on know that God is faithful.

2. He trusted God for his future.  David fought his giant by trusting in God for the future.

3. Living in the present.  

  • my giant is FEAR.  I fear the future.
  • I can make my giant into a dwarf by living in His presence, trusting in God’s plan for the future, and praising God’s past faithfulness.

“But David said to Saul, “Your servant was tending his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I went out after him and attacked him, and rescued it from his mouth; and when he rose up against me, I seized him by his beard and struck him and killed him. “Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, since he has taunted the armies of the living God.” And David said, “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine ” And Saul said to David, “Go, and may the LORD be with you.” Then Saul clothed David with his garments and put a bronze helmet on his head, and he clothed him with armor. David girded his sword over his armor and tried to walk, for he had not tested them. So David said to Saul, “I cannot go with these, for I have not tested them.” And David took them off. He took his stick in his hand and chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the shepherd’s bag which he had, even in his pouch, and his sling was in his hand; and he approached the Philistine.”-1 Samuel 17:34-40

Insights from Dave:

Last Wednesday Bucky presented us with Psalm 20 and it’s “prequel,” the story of David and Goliath.  Before going further please take a few moments and read both in that order.  

What we learned was Psalm 20 was a prayer David prayed as an intercessory prayer over his army before battle.  In this prayer, David tells his army some “May God” items:
  
May the Lord answer…
May he send you help…
May he remember…
May he give you the desire…

Then, David tells his army that he knows the Lord saves his anointed and that they need to trust in the Lord, not in chariots and horses.  David knew God wasn’t in the background but on the frontlines with him and his men.

How did David know these things? That is where the story of David and Goliath comes in.  Couldn’t you say that David knew from experience that the Lord saves his anointed?  There is so much to write about this story; like how the Lord was preparing David for that day through his sheparding of sheep (David was a “professional” with that slingshot), and how all of the Israelites judged Goliath by his outward appearance (Goliath was a giant); they didn’t realize God looks at the heart.  David’s heart was in the right place because he had a relationship with God.  His psalms are proof that David kept a journal and talked with God daily; David knew God was with him.  When he decided to take on Goliath he wasn’t doing something careless.  I believe he talked with God about it first; he prayed, meditated and listened for God’s voice.
 

Our discussion focused on two things – victories and giants.  What victories has God given you in the past?  What giants are you facing in the New Year?  Take a few minutes and write down your thoughts on these two questions.  If you have a journal you may want to record them there.  Around our table, most folks talked about the economy as one of their giants.  But, we were fortunate to have Patrick at our table; I like how God speaks to Patrick (and am thankful Patrick is listening for God’s voice).  Patrick said God is probably smiling about our down economy because more people turn to God in tough times.  So, financially, it may not be good for our nation, but in terms of salvation, it could be a booming time for God.  This line has had me thinking the last few days.  I thought, if I am thinking and worrying about the economy, I am selfishly thinking of myself and not the things of God; my trust is in horses and chariots and not in God.  God takes care of His anointed – I need to put my focus on Him, not me; God has me covered.

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Brennan Manning #3: My Journey with Jesus

This is part 3 of 4 in the Brennan Manning speaking series from Mariners Church in 1996.  It is AMAZING!  I have been sharing these lectures with men from my men’s group for years, and they ALL have been AMAZED and changed by his beautiful insights, humor, and stories.  If you haven’t heard him speak or read any of his books please start NOW.

Some of my favorites:

Ruthless Trust

Signature of Jesus

Rabbi’s Heartbeat

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Start the New Year with a Resolution: A Daily Devotional

Now is the time to start a yearly devotional.  It is imperative to our walk with Christ to be in a devotional daily. The secret to the best devotionals? Reading the Bible (And if you do this every year, one way to motivate you to keep going is to read through the Bible in a different translation than one that you usually read e.g. New Living Translation, New American Standard, God’s Word, to name a few):

1. The Discipleship Journal has several options (I am doing this one this year) AND I am using a different Bible translation: Holman Christian Standard Bible AND I am reading the Bible using The Apologetics Study Bible which is excellent for those with a lot of questions.

2. A One Year Bible is a great way to go

A few GREAT options for those who want to do a daily devotion but not read through the Bible:

1. The One Year Book of Church History (I just finished this one, and it was AMAZING! I HIGHLY recommend it.)

2. Promises by Bill Bright (I did this one years ago. It is excellent, but I think it is out of print.)

3. Our Daily Bread: You can download it to your PDA, read it online, or order a paper copy. (I have done this one for years, and it is simple, concise and FREE! They will send you a free copy FOREVER–even tracked me down when I moved across the country!)

4. The One Year Book of Bible Prayer is another great option.

5. walkthru.org has a eDevotion that is sent to you via email, and they have some GREAT paper devotionals

(Their Daily Walk will walk you through the Bible in a year, and their Closer Walk will walk you through the New Testament in a year–both are excellent.)

Finally there are some GREAT audio options:

1.  The Bible Experience (you can buy on itunes via audiobooks or at their website)  I have bought the book of John and the Psalms and listened through it.  They are VERY good. 

2. The Bible Podcast is a FREE audio version of the Bible that is also excellent.

It doesn’t matter what you do as much as doing SOME form of daily devotion.  Ideally you are reading the Bible daily.

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Men’s Topic #12: The Christmas Story

Hello Everyone,

Before I forget, last Wednesday, was our final meeting of the year; our next meeting will be on Wednesday, January 7, 2009. 

Bucky gave us the alternative Christmas story and Drew challenged us to read it this year rather than the one from Luke.   That “story” is the Gospel of John, chapter 1, verses 1-14.  I personally never looked at these verses in this way before.  Take a few minutes to read the material, then answer the first question we had; what is unique about the way John tells the Christmas story? 

 

I learn so much through Bucky’s teaching and our sharing time it is difficult for me to write about one or two things we covered.  I want to write about all of them; but I cannot.  In verse 10 it says, “He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.”  Think about it, even today, there are people putting up lights and playing Christmas songs but they do not know why; they still do not recognize Him.  How can we help those around us see Jesus?  Doesn’t your heart go out to them?  This is a time when families will gather together.  Most every family has at least one non-believer. Maybe this will be the year YOU can be the light that turns away their darkness.  Maybe your testimony as to why you celebrate the birth of Christ will be the one that wins them over (remember, you are the plan).  I met with Bucky on Wednesday afternoon.  One reason was because I have certain family members I want dearly to come to know Christ.  Bucky suggested I share why I celebrate Christmas.   I pray this will be the time.  I also know I cannot force any truth on them; remember; grace opens the door to truth.  It is God’s timing, not mine.  I must give up control and place my faith and trust in Him in every aspect of my life. 

Patrick gave a great analogy on Wednesday comparing our salvation to a boy opening a present.  I encourage you to ask him about it.  Patrick, maybe you could record it for Uberlumen.  There was one other thing Patrick said that wowed me; “can you imagine going through today, just today, without forgiveness?”  Wow, incredible, huh?  Thank you, Patrick.

Since it is Christmas, I know what you can get yourself.  If you don’t already have one, get yourself a mentor.  Start the New Year by meeting with someone who knows more than you and absorb it like a sponge.  If you aren’t sure who can be your mentor, ask Bucky or any one of the elders.  They will be glad to help or suggest someone for you.

Have a blessed time celebrating the birth of Christ.

 

In His Service,
Dave
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Why do I date other men?

Laughter is often the first response when I share with others that I “date” other men, but they soon realize that I am serious.  I have developed deep, intimate, tell all relationships with several men in my life, and it has transformed my marriage, my parenting, and my life.  It is a fundamental piece of being fully alive.

How do you do this?

1. First: Finding the right man for you.  What does this future confidant look like? 

a. CHEMISTRY: We all know that there are certain people that we have ‘chemistry’ with.  There are some guys that you know that you really enjoy their company, and their personalities mesh with yours.  How do you find them? You have to get involved! Go to men’s group!

b. VOLUNTERABILITY: It takes stepping out–moving beyond your comfort zone and removing your mask.  This is the toughest step.  It will take time to break down the walls that we as men construct to keep everyone away.  You have to start with small forays into sharing a little carve out of your struggles and pains to see how it goes.  If you find the right guy, he will respond in kind, and you both will continue to grow deeper in your friendship.

c. TRUST: You have to set up a wall around your relationship with this guy.  Once you establish that this may be the right guy, and you have started the process of volunterability.  You will need at some point to establish boundaries to protect your ‘secrets’.  This is a verbal agreement to keep what you each share confidential.

2. Second: What do you do with the right guy?

a. TIME: You have to carve out the time to meet.  It is essential that you have an agreement to meet weekly or biweekly.  I have also developed a habit of calling (yes often daily) to check in and catch up when I can’t meet that week or so.

b. TALK: What usually happens when you have the time to meet or talk on the phone? Men talk about…..NOTHING! The weather, sports, etc.  STOP! I need to intentially STOP, and get on subject.  This is key because I STILL do this with my confidants! I find that we have burned through the time we have together by talking about nothing substantial.  Don’t get me wrong, these topics are fun and important commaradirie…BUT it is just what they say it is: SMALL talk.  The BIG talk must be done, and it can be hard work.  Ask and Listen.  How is your marriage going? What was the last fight about with your bride? How are each of your kids? How are you doing with your struggles? etc.

3. Third: Why?

Deep, intimate fellowship with a brother WILL transform your life! It will make you a better husband, father, friend, co-worker, and ‘little’ Christ.

A friend sent me a link to an entry on his blog that describes the importance and power of joining a group of men: “Some Honest Men”  

Try it! And let us know your thoughts.

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Men’s Topic #11: Tis’ the season, how are we going to show the reason?

This Wednesday, Robby talked about commitments and challenges that we face as Christians during the Christmas season.  When Robby read the definition of commitment and what we thought about its place in our culture the overwhelming response was that we need only to be committed to ourselves.  Think about it; we live in an “It’s all about me society.”  As Pete McKenzie puts it, “I know I am not much but I am all I think about.”   

Out of everything we discussed, one question summed it all up for me; “What are you going to do differently this year?”  Wow, that is a big question, isn’t it?  Like Bucky admitted to last Sunday, we all get caught up in the “spirit of Christmas” as the world defines it, which is CONSUMPTION.   To non-believers this is the time to run up the credit cards and buy, buy, buy.  I must admit it, too; I feel compelled to show my appreciation toward others in the form of material things – gifts. There is so much pressure to go along with the culture.  But we are to be different, aren’t we?  We are not to be part of this world.  We are to ensure our children, family, friends and co-workers know why we are smiling during this time of year; because for us it’s not about consumption – we are celebrating the birth of the Savior of the world.

So, what I am going to do differently this year?  I am going to try and be bolder about my faith.  I had some encouragement on that just today. My brother, Jake, and I went to a training session on the application of a product called Pli-Dek.  It is a waterproof deck coating.  There were 70 people at Pli-Dek’s main office in Murrieta to learn and be certified in this application process.  Jeff, the President of the company got up to give a PowerPoint presentation before the demonstrations began.  The first words out of Jeff’s mouth were, “Pli-Dek was found on Christian values and principles.”  Wow! I was impressed.  Here was a guy standing up in front of 70 strangers and not having a problem professing his faith.  I thought, if Jeff can do, I could, too.  In these times we shouldn’t be hiding our faith.  Our country needs a renewed faith in God more than ever; we need a revival.  And it has to start with each one of us.  God’s plan was 12 men.  I’ll borrow another quote from Pete, “God has a plan and you’re it.”  Go love up on someone as only Abba’s child can.

In His Service,
Dave

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Men’s Topic #10: Intimacy is BETTER than Sex

We had a GREAT time today listening and learning how to be a Christ like lover to our wives.  We are called to love her–sacrafically and unconditionally–as Christ loved us.  We discussed love languages, knowing your family of origin baggage allows healing and enlightenment into present struggles, and Drew’s ‘top 10’ marriage tips. Here is the outline and discussion questions.

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Men’s Topic #9: Thankfulness

“If anyone would tell you the shortest, surest way to all happiness and all perfection, he must tell you to make a rule to yourself to thank and praise God for everything that happens to you…it is certain that whatever seeming calamity happens to you, if you thank and praise God for it you turn it into a blessing…it heals and turns all that it touches into happiness….every day….be made a day of thanksgiving…”-William Law

 

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”~Thornton Wilder

“The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts.  No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.”~H.U. Westermayer

Thankfulness is a state of our hearts.  Practicing the state of thankfulness for EVERYTHING develops in us a heart for others and for God.  Smile and embrace those around you on this day of thanks!

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Men’s Topic #8: Superhero’s

I had an ‘aha’ moment several weeks ago.  Most of the successful men that I know are superheros.  Yes men of steel.  These men are able to detach in a moment’s notice, disengage from wives and family, and ‘puff up’ and plow through any situation.

These men come from wounded back grounds.  Family of origin nightmares.  A distant father and an overbearing mother.  At least one of their parents is inevitably an alcoholic or worse.  At a VERY early age these men hide behind perfection.  When the drunk mom and the distant dad become too much, they amp up and shut off ANY emotions from the outside world and OVER achieve, over and over again.

Over and over again, I hear the same story–abandoned by dad and living with a crazy mom who must spend all her energy raising the prodigal younger brother so the eldest son emerges to save the day: captain of the football, track, AND wrestling team….and did I mention validictorian?  abandoned by a distant dad and living with a drunk mom too spent to supervise the youngest and last kid in the house so this son rises up to MVP of the water polo team, etc.  SAME story different details!

When these men grow up it is no surprise that they live Thoreau’s ‘quiet lives of desperation’ sealed off from any emotions from any chance of intimacy and deep meaningful relationships.

I was amazed by listening to the author of “The Shack” (a MUST read) who described himselft as just such a man hiding his baggage-his “shack”, as he called it, behind him while he hid his true brokenness from the world by perfectionism.

Please enjoy this presentation regarding so many men’s hidden secret: They are superhero’s.

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If you had ONE word to describe Jesus what would it be?

During this CRAZY financial time, this is a GREAT message from my friend Bill’s newsletter:

One Word

Christian Soul Care Devotional

Bill Gaultiere

Some time ago I was meeting with Dallas Willard and in the course of our conversation he asked me, “If you had one word to describe Jesus what would it be?”

How would you answer that question?  Close your eyes for a moment and consider this.  Write down the first words that come to mind. If you could only use one word to describe Jesus what would it be?

Have you stopped reading this devotional so you can give your own answer?!  Go ahead take a moment now….

Jesus is the Word of all words!   His is the name above all names.  He is so magnificent and multi-faceted how could we pin him down to just one word!  And yet, I found this to be a very meaningful exercise.  The words we pick and the ones we don’t pick may have something to say about our relationship with him.

Here are the words I thought of…  Jesus is… Love… Holy… Lord… Teacher… Risen… Healer…  (These areall good words to describe Jesus.)

Then Dallas looked into my eyes and shared with me his word.  You need to know that this was a special moment for me.  He’s my key mentor.  I’ve read every book he’s written more than once.  I’ve listened (many times) to every audio teaching series of his I can find.  In the last six years he has discipled me to Jesus in ways that have impacted all that I am and everything that I do as a Christian, husband, father, friend, psychologist, minister, writer…

What one word would Dallas Willard use to describe Jesus?  “Relaxed.”

Relaxed? 

I would have never thought of that word!  But ever since that conversation I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Jesus being relaxed.  

Think about it.  Jesus had far and away the most important and dangerous mission that any human being has ever had or ever will have.  He had to wait 18 years to begin working on his calling and then he had just three years of public ministry to fulfill it.  And yet Jesus was relaxed!

Jesus needed to convince a large number people that although he was merely a man he was also the unique Son of God.  And his followers needed to be so confident in him as their Lord and Savior that they would give their lives to lead other people to know him – even to the point of torture and death. And yet Jesus was relaxed! 

Jesus could only be in one location at a time.  And when he left one city to go to another he left behind people that hadn’t been healed or discipled (Matthew 13:58).  Most people – even his own family at first – rejected him and his message (Luke 4:28-30, Mark 3:20, 31-34).  Many of the people he discipled deserted him (John 6:66).  And even his faithful disciples didn’t understand who he was until after he rose from the dead (Mark 8:31-33)!  And yet Jesus was relaxed!

The fate of all humankind – past, present, and future – depended on Jesus successfully completing his gospel mission!  And yet Jesus remained relaxed! 

When I have big responsibilities I start to feel overwhelmed… When I am stressed by situations anxious feelings rise up within me… When I am criticized or rejected I am tempted to react by feeling bad about myself or getting angry… When I have lots to do I tend to hurry… 

How did Jesus remain at peace when he was under pressures much, much harder than I face?  He practiced what he preached!  He lived in the same “easy yoke” that he offers to us.  Jesus was the first disciple: he apprenticed himself to the Father, learning to live out the things he would later teach (think of Jesus’ 18 hidden years from ages 12 to 30 as his discipleship training program). 

Our sinless Lord “grew” (Luke 2:52); he “learned” (Hebrews 5:8) how to…

·        Maintain moment-by-moment submission to God’s will, never saying or doing anything except as the Father directed him (John 6:38, 12:50). 

·        Pray without ceasing (John 11:42, 1 Thessalonians 5:17)

·        Be so dependent upon the Holy Spirit as to be filled with his presence and power without limit (John 3:34).

·        Bless those that cursed him (Luke 22:34). 

In my discipleship to Jesus I am learning how to follow his example and walk with him in his “easy yoke,” his “unforced rhythms of grace” (Matthew 11:28, MSG).  And so more and more I too am relaxed!

If Kristi or I can offer you counseling or spiritual direction call us at 949-262-3699.

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Men’s Topic #7: TRUST in Him

Here is a GREAT summary from Dave about Men on the Path:

Let me start by saying I really miss seeing some of you guys on Wednesday mornings.

Bucky always gives us a little information about the culture of the time so we can better understand the meaning of the scripture verses we talk about. One part of his explanation really got my attention. Bucky explained how, in Jesus’ time, a man proposed to a woman by offering her a cup. If she drank from the cup, it meant she accepted, the engagement began and the man would then go home to build a room onto his father’s house. It made me think, so how did we go from offering a cup to a mandatory three carats? Why does a woman need such a big, bright, shiny object, and, why do we feel the need to give it to her?

Last Wednesday we discussed the first six verses of John 14, which starts with, “Do not let your hearts be troubled; Trust in God; trust also in me,” and ends with, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes through the Father except through me.” How do Jesus’ words bring comfort to your heart as you read and reflect on them? Think about it for a few minutes. For some on Wednesday, going to heaven meant seeing loved ones again while others talked about true freedom from worries and fears, and about seeing God’s face.

These verses are great messages for us as we live in Orange County – an area where so many are hearts are troubled because of their trust in the things of this world (i.e. the real estate and the stock markets). This is southern California, right? Aren’t we supposed to be “the place” where everyone wants to live so housing values should never decline? And the stock market; when is the last time it went spiraling downward like this? If we cannot trust in our real estate and stock markets then what can we trust in? Well, we can trust in God’s promise He has a plan for us that is bigger than anything this world has to offer. He has prepared a place for us in heaven. All we need to do is be born again; become a new creation. In reading, “My Utmost for His Highest,” this morning it said we are not born again and our souls are not saved unless our hearts no longer desire the things of the past. Quite a different approach than, pray a prayer and go to heaven. Personally, I choose to believe Oswald Chambers. When you believe in your heart, change will come and fears will subside. When God looks down is He able to tell the difference between your lifestyle and the non-believer’s? Maybe we should go back to offering cups.

In His Service,
Dave

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Men’s Topic #6: Love the one you’re with

Our topic this week was about LOVING your spouse.  In our OC world everyone is looking for more, coveting, and thinking that ‘the grass is always greener’.   If you want a GREAT marriage, you have to stop looking at the other lawns and stop and water your own grass! i.e. a GREAT marriage takes SACRIFICE and HARD WORK and COMMITTMENT to LOVE her with CHRIST’S LOVE!

Our Scripture for this week is: Ephesians 5:25-33

Here is Dave’s summary email:

I want to thank Robby for being a man of courage; it isn’t easy getting up in front of a bunch of men when you are the youngest and possibly the least experienced in the group regarding the topic you were speaking on. Robby spoke on Ephesians 5:25-33. If you haven’t read it in a while please do so. It offers great marital advice. Robby told us how he sees love – as an action word, not a feeling. Love, Robby said, is not about us but about other people. Verse 25 states, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Then, smack dab in the middle of those verses is the line, “He who loves his wife loves himself.” Wow, pretty powerful, huh?

Some things that went around the room during our discussion time were:

– Love has nothing to do with the physical and everything to do with the heart

– Jesus is our love coach

– Marriages get neglected in the name of material success

– Show love by praying with and for one another; you cannot be angry with someone if you are praying with/for them

– Know your spouse’s “love language,” whether it is gifts, affirmation, physical touch, time or service (from Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages)

– Spend some quality, uninterruptible time on the couch with your spouse when you first get home from work (“couch time”)

– Get rid of your television and your children’s cell phones

– If together, we can keep our eyes focused on Jesus rather than the imperfect human beings we are, and ask Him to love our spouse through us, we will grow closer to Him and to our spouse – as you both grow closer to Christ you grow closer to each other….

As always, please share your thoughts/comments with us!
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Dave K interview Part #1

Please enjoy listening to Dave tell his AMAZING faith journey.  This first of three parts points out the OC lifestyle as seen by a Jersey boy (and the world).  A helpful reminder that we live in an incredibly materialistic place.  Dave has become an incredible man of faith through his journey.  Here are a few words from Dave:

“I was thinking about how much my present day situation fits with today’s lesson of “are you enough?”  If you think about it, if I paid attention to the world around me, the OC lifestyle would definitely tell me I wasn’t nearly enough.  I…have no assets other than a 2001 Nissan Sentra and live pretty much paycheck to paycheck (mainly due to restitution).  But, because I follow God and not the world, I have a genuine smile on face and countless blessings.  It is amazing how little you really need.  If we look back only about 50 years, how big were our parents’ and grandparents’ homes?  How many baths did they have?  Life was smaller and better but Satan is out there convincing many that bigger is better and what they have isn’t good enough.  People take their eyes off of God and look at what others have…”

Please share with us your thoughts.

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Men’s Topic #5: PRAYER

Here are the notes from Dave on Men’s Group Topic #5: Prayer  

On Wednesday we reviewed Luke 11:5-13 and Luke 18:1-7 (please read, or re-read them before continuing). 

Bucky makes so many great points each week it is a challenge to write about just one or two.  I selfishly get to pick the ones that touch my heart and pray they will touch yours, too.

We all know where Bucky’s heart is on the subject of prayer because he stated on Wednesday, “the best thing we could do is pray.”  I’ve been blessed to be able to attend a few events with Bucky and one thing he makes sure happens is that prayer is part of the event.  For example, after serving those in need at the City of Hope shelter a couple of months ago we stood in front of the door and Bucky led us in prayer.  Bucky often says how he walks around the Northwood neighborhood and prays before service.  So it did not surprise me when our discussion this week focused on prayer. When all is said and done if we do not become men of prayer we will never know God.  We can “study” His word all we want but we will never know Him.  Prayer is nothing more than talking to God; it is not ceremonial or ritualistic; it is a conversation with our Lord and Savior.  Bucky said we can go through the routine of prayer but if it is just rote that is disconnected from your heart it will not accomplish anything.  Prayer needs a willing and wanting heart.  Getting on your knees at the beginning and/or end of each day and praying is something to be done not out of “duty” but out of desire.  How else can you get to know God if you do not talk to Him? Another point Bucky made was that each morning when the disciples awoke they usually found Jesus out alone, praying.  He was talking to His Abba.  Jesus’ Abba is our Abba, too.  The point of Luke 11:5-13, is to show us God isn’t a grouchy Father, but a Good Neighbor; the One we can talk to anytime, anywhere.  If we knock, He will answer.  God is always there for us.  A little while back Bill Gaultiere had Cynthia and me demonstrate the “prayer hug” we do almost every morning.  It is amazing how Cynthia looks forward to starting her day knowing I’ve cared enough to embrace her and whisper my prayer to God in her ear.  As men, God wants us to be the spiritual heads of our households.  The best thing we can do for our families doesn’t involve anything in this world (no college funds, hedge funds, mutual funds, etc.); it is prayer.  Try it, and like the woman in Luke 18:1-7, do not give up; continue to pray.  Remember it is in His timing not ours. 
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Prayer is Invading the Impossible

I had the honor to teach at Men of Influence this week.  This is the men’s group at Mariners Church that I used to go to until I moved over to Men on the Path at Pathways Church.  It is an amazing group of men, and they have chosen an AMAZING book to go through: Prayer is Invading the Impossible by Hayford.  We discussed these questions:

  1. Is God good? How do you know that God is good?
  2. Does Satan exist? How do you know?
  3. Why do bad things happen to good people?  Where do bad things come from?
  4. What role do your prayers have in accomplishing God’s will?

I mentioned these 2 books as GREAT resources:

  1. Never Give Up! by Nancy Missler: A LIVE CHANGING book concerning trials and tribulations
  2. The Invisible War by Chip Ingram: What Every Believer Needs to Know about Satan, Demons, and Spiritual Warfare

Please enjoy my brief audio teaching and slides, and as always, please share your comments!

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Men’s Topic #4: Servanthood

Please enjoy this audio of Bucky’s teaching about servanthood and here is Dave’s summary:

Please take a few minutes and re-read John 13.  Then use your remaining time to reflect on what we learned from each other today:

  1. Verse 1 says, “…he showed them the full extent of his love.”  Love always gives itself away for the benefit of another. 
  2. You must receive service (from God and others) before you can serve others.  You cannot give what you have not received.  Bucky gave us a few great personal examples that would take up too much space here (if you’d like to know ask Bucky or someone that attended on Wednesday).  God serves us by His grace in allowing us to enter into a relationship with Him now, as we are.  We must spend time with God to further that relationship. No relationship lasts if time isn’t spent with the other person in the relationship.  God is no different – if we want to know Him better, we must make time for Him. 
  3. As usual, Jesus led by example.  He did not ask His disciples to do anything He hadn’t already done.  And, of course, it was done in complete humility. Humility is the absence of pride. 

Can you see the correlation between our teacher and the disciples’ Teacher? Bucky leads by personal example with humility.  That is why we all love and respect Bucky.  He is transparent; he is not afraid to make his life an open book.  We don’t see Bucky as “Super Pastor,” but as one of us.   Well, Jesus desires that same love and respect from us.  It just takes time guys; are you ready to give it?

Share what you learned this week with a friend, co-worker, neighbor or family member.  When they see you lead with humility they will want what you have.